Boyfriend Experience

“Okay, I feel all dressed up with nowhere to go. Do you know what I’m saying?” asked Mary Ann.

“Totally, Girl. That’s the story of my life,” said Julie.

“I mean, I guess we could, like, go out,” said Mary Ann.

“Yeah, and do what?”

“Well, yeah, that’s the thing. We’re both sort of looking for….”

They said, in unison, “a boyfriend.”

“But who wants the headache? What always ends up happening is the same thing. We get boyfriends and then bump into each other running errands or something for the boyfriends. That’s no fun!” said Mary Ann.

“Exactly. Plus, who’s got the time? We’re both so busy and have, honestly, major career lives.”

“We need, like, the ‘Boyfriend Experience’ without the real deal.”

Julie gasps. That’s it! That’s precisely it! We need the feeling like we have boyfriends without the responsibility and commitment that comes along with it.”

“I’ll share something with you if you promise to keep it a secret,” said Mary Ann.

“‘Kay, ‘kay. What is it?” asked Julie.

“We can get what we want.”

“What? Have our cake and eat it too?” Julie questioned.

“Yes. Call Cowboys 4 Angels for the ultimate Boyfriend Experience,” said Mary Ann.

“What do you mean?” asked Julie.

“Cowboys 4 Angels gives the ultimate ‘Boyfriend Experience!’”

“Tell me all about it!” said Julie.

“Cowboys 4 Angels makes dreams come true,” Mary Ann explained.

“Have you tried it?” asked Julie.

“Well, can you keep another secret?” Mary Ann asked.

“Of course,” Julie answered.

“Okay. My answer is ‘Yes and I loved it!’” said Mary Ann.

“Definitely tell me more now!” said Julie.

“I felt like I won the boyfriend lottery.”

“So, what was your date like? I mean, did it feel natural, like a real date?” asked Julie.

“It felt like a real date but much better; it felt like the ideal date.”

“So it’s more of an ideal Boyfriend Experience?”

“Yes. If you could dream it up, the agency and the amazing Cowboys can make it happen,” said Mary Ann.

“I just want a night of romance. I want to go to the opera and then head to a quiet, fancy dinner afterward.”

“Shall we do that, you and I? Just kidding!”

“Hee hee! I want to experience it with a man, with an ideal boyfriend. I know it may sound silly but I want the guy to hold my hand as we find our seats at the opera. I want him to….”

“You want him to be chivalrous.”

“Yes. Was your date chivalrous?”

“My Cowboys 4 Angels Cowboy was entirely chivalrous. He was such a gentleman and smiled the whole time. He had a beautiful disposition, not to mention, well… he had a beautiful disposition.”

“Say what you started to say. Come forth with it.”

“Okay. He had a beautiful body. I mean, his body looked great through his freshly-pressed suit,” explained Mary Ann.

“Uh huh. What did you two do together?”

“We went to my sister’s big birthday bash. Her husband threw her this giant party in his fancy condo. All the guests were coupled. Do you know what I mean?”

“Of course. One of those deals where you’d literally stick out like a sore thumb if you didn’t have a mate.”

“Precisely. I didn’t want to be the lone single gal at the party and then have everybody patronize and pity me. So I rented a date. However, I got something more.”

“You mean, he stuck around afterward?”

“No, no! That’s not it. I sort of fell….”

“You fell?! Were you okay?”

“Naw, naw; I fell…for him…but in a good way.”

“What was the night like?”

“We spent a lot of time talking. I mean, sure, we made the rounds when we first entered and greeted everybody. I introduced him as my new boyfriend.”

“And did people buy it?”

“Sure. Why not? I mean, don’t get me wrong; they were impressed and all. But they didn’t doubt it for a second especially when he and I ended up talking on the couch in the corner for, like, forty-five minutes straight. Finally somebody approached us and said, ‘Hey, you two lovebirds. Come and join the rest of us. We’re about to light the candles.’”

“What did you talk about that whole time?”

“We chatted about his degree and his new business venture plus my new promotion at work and my application for my graduate degree. We shared a lot in common with each other. I felt really understood.”

“I’m totally calling these guys. Where’s my phone?”

“Tell me everything, Lady,” said Mary Ann.

“We did it.”

“Did what?”

“Well, I mean we went to the opera and held hands. It was like straight out of my imagination: a realized fantasy. We dressed to the nines. I was nervous that I’d show up wearing my fancy black, beaded dress and that he’d be too casual- mismatched. But, no. Mary Ann, he wore a tux!”

“Are you serious, Girl?”

“Yes. He showed up with three roses, one for each act of the opera, and a box of chocolate.”

“Mary Ann gasped. That is trés romantic.”

“Then, after our decadent dinner, he hand-….”

“What? You must reveal. He did what with his hands?”

“He hand-fed me the chocolates.”

“Oh, he wanted you.”

“I know. And I wanted him back,” said Julie.

“Did you…?” asked Mary Ann.

“I did.”

“I did, too!” said Julie.

“Wait, what? Did what?” asked Mary Ann.

“I took him to the secret spot,” said Julie.

“I did too!”

“Wait, where?” asked Julie.

“…to the aquarium.”

“You call it the ‘aquarium?!’”

“Yeah, I mean, what do you call it: ‘the building with the fish?’”

“Wait, you literally went to the…got it! You went to the museum, the actual aquarium with the whales?”

“Yes, and our date went swimmingly. It was the total Cowboys 4 Angels Boyfriend Experience. Now, what’s the secret spot where you took your Cowboy? You must give the lowdown, Lady!”